Sometimes...

Sometimes, I'd like to write things in English. 

English used to be almost my first medium of communication outlet when I was younger, but now that I've lived in a non-English speaking country for quite a while and have a very little to none chance to use it, I sometimes feel a part of me is slowly dying out. 

 

Learned it as a second language, however, it holds the dearest place in my heart, as it has all of my struggles and once-tainted-now-recovered memories. Korean has a very sophisticated system of formalities, while the formalities in English are not like those of Korean. That's probably one of the main reasons why I prefer English over Korean in certain situations. 

 

The thing is I am not quite sure whether I am living the life I should live. I am not quite sure if I am right with God, right with the people I interact with. 

 

My wish is not complicated. I don't want a lot of money, don't want a lot of power or fame. I just to lead a simple, yet noble life. By noble I mean is not getting into quarrelsome situations where you get into dirty situations fighting against people. Just be a little bit more nice, and be a little bit more kind, and a little bit more free.

 

Workwise, I just want to be a pilot and do some international works related aviation, as I love that stuff. And just traveling around the world, write things in my own language, learn foreign languages, and dabbble in noble hobbies. 

 

But, right now, everything mentioned above seems so difficult to achieve and distant. I was so close to getting it, but now it seems forever distant. But, I still long for that dream, try to be still, try to stay low yet firm for a long flight needs a long runway run to kick off.